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Suits and ties abound and I am stuck in one line of people from many lines. Why are all the people marching in the streets neatly dressed walking steadily carrying a briefcase or purse and walking in a straight line? The buildings all seem to be of the same structure and style—of a dingy grayish brown or perhaps black. I wake up from the daze Ive fallen into. My body is moving on its own and I believe that I was ensnared in a dream. I wonder why everyone is marching in a straight line neatly dressed walking steadily carrying a briefcase or purse and why the buildings all appear to be the same shape and design—all dark grayish brown or perhaps black—why there are so many suits and ties and why I am stuck in one line of people from multiple lines. I break out of my current state of trance. I believe I was caught up in a dream and now that Im awake my body is moving by itself. I am marching as well. My hair is combed as tidy as the briefcase in my right hand and as dark as the coffee in my left. Im dressed similarly to my unofficial allies. My body continues to be controlled by a suppressive force. As we move through the downtown streets I turn to face the windows reflecting off of the buildings. Among the thousands of forward-facing bodies I spot a perplexed angry face. I decide that I must leave this place because enough is enough. I attempt to move. No I couldnt. Trying to get control back feels like lifting a bus but all Im really doing is telling my mind to jump out of line. After five minutes of intense concentration behind a perspiring brow I abruptly start moving. Im on the ground and gasping for air. I have no idea how I got here or how anyone else got here. Looking up at the marching bodies I see that they are still enthralled with whatever it is they are following. Where did we come from? Where are we heading? Looking for a lamppost I scale it as high as I can. My goal is to catch a glimpse of the lines beginning. Im unable to see it. I ask myself again “Where is this place? ” Based on the surroundings I know we are in the center of a downtown city. Since there are no street signs everyone simply knows where theyre going. Im not sure how to proceed. My mind starts to hypnotize again. Perhaps I ought to follow them and see where it leads I think. I approach one of the drones and inquire as to whether he is aware of his destination wondering what the harm could be. Its obvious he says staring at me as if I were crazy. He gestures in front. I see nothing but more bodies marching I tell him. He ignores me and continues to march. I inquire of a young woman where everyone is heading. She claims its obvious and calls that a dumb question. When I ask her why its so obvious she responds that she has no idea—it just is. I pay no attention to her. I sit down on the pavement and think about how Im going to get home. Then I get a flashback. It must have been before I arrived here. Im leaving a structure now. Im telling myself that everything will make sense when I reach my next destination. Im leaving another structure. Again once I complete this step everything will make sense. Yesterday is the next flashback. My suit and tie are being put on. I check myself in the mirror. Age-related wrinkles are beginning to show. I have my suit pressed and my hair combed. Once more I remind myself that Im getting close. The flashback comes to an end. Sitting on the sidewalk I ask myself Almost where? . Beyond the ceaseless marching and the skyscrapers that rise above us I gaze up at the sky. The clouds are moving over a very pale blue background. I find myself grinning at it. I turn to face the marchers as I get up to stand and gaze into their faces. I am invisible to them even to the sky. They have stoic unfazed expressions. They refuse to even gaze at the sky. Im on the verge of crying. Anger fills me in an instant. I yank off my shoes and tear off my tie with an rage Ive never experienced before. I scream at the top of my lungs and tangle my hair. What is wrong with you people? I yell at them. They merely gaze without responding. Some point some stick their noses up and some snicker. They think that I am beneath them. I am on the verge of laughing. Me? Not as good as you? I hurried into the crowd without thinking. Anarchy breaks out. I dont try to fight them because Im not a fool. All I want to see is who is leading this movement. Who is in charge of this sheeps progression and where is it taking them? Bodies were found all over. Women yelled at me believing I had destroyed their prospects of success. Men yelled at me assuming that my antics were only intended to upset the status quo. They seized me in an attempt to stop me. As I moved forward I didnt care and didnt turn around. The truth was still to come. I was going there. As I got closer to what I believed to be the front their cries became more loud. I was possibly kicked but I was knocked down multiple times. Even though I was unflappable I cant claim that I didnt feel their blows. Nearly there I was. The mob leader would have to explain my purpose to me if I went up to him. The last group of savages both male and female were in the front. I waited for them to respond. They saw what I know. A young minority man with tattered hair ripped clothing no tie and no briefcase. The fact that I was bruised and had some bloodstains on me didnt matter anymore. I will see the truth of this world I promised myself. The resolve in my eyes was visible to them. The gatekeepers in suits were prepared for what would happen if they refused me access. I was surprised when they moved aside. At this point the mayhem behind me reached unthinkable proportions. The gatekeepers change of heart could not be questioned at this time. The mob whose new objective was to watch me suffer was left behind when I leaped past them. Suddenly everything was dark except for a single strip of light on the ground that led into the void. For what seemed like hours I walked on it. Furious I ran to the finish line. And then I paused and understood. Perhaps there was no end. I left the light-filled path and entered the shadows. I walked a short distance. I noticed an elderly man carrying a frayed book through the shadows. My pulse pounded. This man wore rags instead of a suit. He turned and gave me a look. We looked at each other. I took a big mouthful. He grinned. I questioned him about why he was treating everyone in this way. The elderly man said I have done nothing. . You yourself arrived here. Recall? Why did we all come here everyone else? . You all see the same vision do you not? What you all came for and want is the same. Joy. a lovely family. tangible items with transient worth. You are the same as everyone else despite your belief that you are unique. . . Thats no longer the case at least. I know my desires. Happiness a family and material belongings will all appear when theyre ready but Im aware that theyre not the end. Thats the end of my success! I screamed. The old man remarked Boy you still dont understand. . Theres no end. There will never be a conclusion. For those who accept it this book has simply identified a cycle. . . We let a cycle go? . He gave me the frayed book slowly after shrugging. After taking it I held it up in the dark. My eyes became accustomed. History was its title. All of us are living in the past. We continue to embrace and internalize our own cycle. We are powerless to alter events that occur earlier in the cycle. We cannot change the parts of the cycle that deal with our birth parents our origins or our past. However we have the ability to alter what hasnt happened yet. Everyone will eventually die including you but they will all be reborn as your children. Each and every person must be a part of this never-ending cycle. Those that dont have already passed away. . . Well since I left that path of light over there Im dead? . No! - sigh - Everyone is on the same path including the mob you battled your way through. You have also been on that path. Your entire life has been in the same direction whether you were in elementary school middle school high school college graduate school or wherever you were before. A new cycle was started for you the instant you jumped off the path. A new route as it were. The old man said. . I now understand. . . Great! . “How did I—but but you! Who are you? This concludes our conversation. Its time for us to part ways gave the elderly man his response. My first words are BUT- but its too late. Everything is once more consumed by darkness: the elderly man the path of light and me. However I catch a glimpse of something moving forward and emerging from beneath my feet. In front of me a blue streak appears its a different route. Deep dark. . . . I open them. Im lying in bed in the old apartment complex where my family used to live. Before moving this is where we used to stay. I still grin when I think about my former pals. Then I recall the previous events. I dash into the restroom to examine myself. When I look in the mirror I see a man with dark hair that is curly wearing dark blue jeans a white t-shirt and a shadow on his face at four oclock. I believe that my path has changed. I return to the living room and find my laptop resting on the old computer table. I then recall my passion. I sit down and consider the options. I go to work. |
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